Concrete sunbathing, Chinese time-keeping and the art of honesty

I'm currently in an internet cafe which is so dark I can barely see the keyboard, and when I did get my phone out earlier to try and type I saw that there aren't any letters on the keys, so its pretty much guess work when it comes to typing. I apologize in advance for all the mis-spelling and geenral grammatical mistakes.

That aside it's been a generally good week - after 3 months here now I seem to finally be settled into a routine. There's Ki9ndegarten in the mornings, Private school in the evenings and weekends and free time is taken up with yoga, trips out and about, reading and drinking coffee - pretty cushty really. On Sunday I had a day off so I decided to take a trip to Sun Island. Ihad to get a boat over the Songhua river to a little island on the other side. It was the hottest day yet so I pretty much sprawled out on the grass in the park all day. The Chinese (all trying to keep white as white) were all huddled in the shade, under trees and bushes and there was me with the sun blearing down on me. It was beautiful. At one point, howwever something got in the way of my sun - I opened my eyes to try and get them to move when they started barking at me - quite aggressively I must say. When my eyes focused I saw that it was a man dressed in military uniform and realised it must have been a park guard (everyone who has any kind of authority here dresses as if they're about to go into battle - car park attendants, supermaket security guards and now, apparently park guards). He barked at me again, and still I was looking up at him blankly. This ordeal seemed to go on for a qhile until a young Chinese girl came over and translated that I wasn't allowed to sit on the grass. Well, have you ever heard such a thing? A park where you're not allowed to dit on the grass. Before leaving however, she pointed out that I was allowed to sit on the concrete walk way. I did. It wasn't comfortable. I left the park and went to meet the others in the beer tents after they finished work. As we hadMonday off we ended up in Russian size.

Today was my first rehearsal for The Sound Of Music. The Kindergarten asked me to stay after my teaching hour, so I agreed. Once my hour was over I was gearing myself up for an afternoon of singing and dancing, but was informed that first we must have lunch. So I watched the kids eat and then we watched some cartoons for a while. By this point it was already midday and i'd been there an hour with absolutely no sign of practise. Then it was the teachers turn to eat, I was sure that after a bite to eat we would get into the full swing of reharsals. I slurped up my soup and then asked when we would be starting. The teacher then informed me the children would be having their afternoon nap after lunch, for TWO AND A HALF HOURS! So the plan was for us to start "do-re-mi"ing at half past two and for the time being for me to do nothing. So I sat there and sat there and stared abd did nothing for a good hour and a half, at which point one of the teachers came up to me and told me we wouldn't be practising today after all, she forgot they had to do something else. Great.

Anyway it wasn't all a waste - before I left they decided to take my measurments for the costume. About six Chinese girls who were the size of sticks all crowded around me -  and what I can only describe as attacked me withe measuring tapes. It was the kind of scene you would only wish on your worst enemy - every time one of the girls read out a measurement they all giggled and said "you're so fat", and then they would grab hold of my stomach and squeeze it while laughing. All the while I had to stand there and laugh along with them as to not look embarrassed and hide how ridiculously uneasy I felt about the entire situation. "Hahahaha yes you are right, I'm so fat, isn't it hilarious, hahahaha". I was literally expecting Jeremy Beadle to jump out at any second. It's not that they were being horrible, it just seems in China you're allowed to say exactly what you want to someone and they don't/shouldn't get offended. So after the whole measuring fiasco I was on my way out, practially running for the door when one of the girls stopped me to say goodbye and then added, whilst laughing "you have such a big nose". I could definately teach the Chinese a lesson or two about the art of KEEPING THINGS TO YOURSELF. Walking to the bus stop, all I could do was laugh, it would only ever happen in China.

Thats all folks xx