Face to Face

So where was I? Oh yeah, Face to Face. It all started when one of the Grade 7 teachers asked if I would help them out if they needed me, and thinking this meant filling in if someone went sick, I agreed, and after a couple of weeks forgot all about it.

When she came to see me again on the Wednesday and asked if I was still available I said yes-only to be advised it was part of a weekend activity for ALL of the Grade 7 students (about 500)-and could I do about 2 hours Saturday afternoon-! Silently screaming I asked for some more details (of course none were forthcoming), and spent the next couple of days trying to plan something to keep that many 15 and 16 year olds interested for that long.

Of course, most of that was a waste of time, as she came back Friday afternoon with a list of topics that they wanted me to cover. I had also asked to check out that I could connect my computer to a projector or what resources would be available beforehand-”Oh we can do that tomorrow morning” she blithely replied.

With my stint due to begin at 2.30, about 11.15 we finally got into the auditorium to get set up, and I finally realized-it was just going to be me! The projector warmed up and the titles flashed up on the screen in big bold red letters- “FACE TO FACE WITH MIKE KELLY-AN ENGLISH TALK SHOW” OMIGOD!!!

Half a bottle of Rescue Remedy and what lunch I could choke down later, and half an hour before I expected, the students filed in and took their seats, waiting expectantly. I introduced myself in a breaking voice, and launched into it.

Well I thought it was a safe assumption that being a year more educated they would know a bit more English--fool that I was! They had been told to prepare some questions for me, and as I couldn’t ask them all, I thought pass the microphone when I said go and whoever had it when I said stop would be fair. I demonstrated the idea, turned my back and said “go”, only to find the same 2 students holding the mics when I said “stop“. I answered the questions, explained again the idea, only to be asked another question as soon as I turned my back. We did eventually get it going, but after being asked for the 10^th time where I was from, and the 20^th time what I liked to do, I had run out of answers, and looking at my watch discovered to my horror that nearly ¾ of an hour had flown past--I guess my worries about not having enough material were groundless-especially after the headmaster had had his say for about 20 minutes.

I’m afraid most of the lesson went right over their heads-despite playing a version of “Simon Says” with my 8 year olds and being unable to catch most of them out, when I said “sit down” without the “Mike says” I lost most of this audience, my talk on word stress was met with blank stares(though they did repeat the words with the stress in the right places), the word chain game had to be explained by the Chinese teacher and I never got round to teaching them any Michael Jackson lyrics- but they found my explanations and miming of body language hilarious, and the native English teachers thought it had been of value, so I guess it wasn’t a total loss.

The details of my reward of dinner and drinks with one of the teachers and her boyfriend are a bit hazy, and I managed to lose the keys to my flat and had to be rescued by someone from the school about midnight-but that’s another story!

Zai Jian

Mike

PS--23/05/10--I guess it didn’t go as badly as I thought-I have had my rota shuffled to include the Grade 7 students in more manageable chunks-only 60 at a time!

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