Knowing what I want to do....just taking the necessary steps to get there

It has taken me 27 years and a lot of searching to figure out what I think I want to do.

Earlier this year in January as an attempt to get out of a near depression, and to do something exciting for me that I truly wanted to do I booked a trip to India, to Pune in Maharastra to be exact.

In Pune there is a Girl Guiding World Centre "Sangam" - which is more like a sanctuary, full of peace, harmony and good works that women from all over the world, involved in Guiding/Scouting can attend to make friends, experience the wonders of this amazing country and to grow in Guiding and to help spread the good deeds that guiding is trying to share with the world.

I had the best most fulfilling 2 weeks of my life...bar none. I completely fell in love with India, felt humbled by the amazing work that Guiding does in the local area and also fell in love with all the children that we played with and taught in the few days that they visited Sangam as part of a community partners children's camp.

I knew when I came home that I needed to go back and wanted to volunteer in a three month program to be a Tare (Star in hindi) to work with the children in their schools in whatever way I can.

After the three month program I decided I would love to explore India and the rest of South east Asia and beyond more thoroughly. To do that you need some money. My job here in the UK is fine, administrative role in an office, easy enough, nice people, paid but not a high salary.

So I looked to TEFL. I had looked at teaching abroad over and over again but never found the courage and self discipline to do it. I  never had the true self motivation to give it a go and to really achieve something. My trip to india and the desire to be able to teach these children properly inspired me.

This year on my birthday, I clicked on the i-to-i email and then gave them a call, signed up and BAM. Some of the hidden self discipline I had never found at University leapt from me and I started the 140 hour course.

140 hours sounds a lot. And it is a lot. I am at the final part of the 90 days allotted to complete this. If I am honest, right now I feel almost defeated. I have tried to do as much as possible, with working two jobs, a guide unit to run every Wednesday and a kind of social life. Some days I cannot even log in. Checkpoint 5 fills me with dread every time I look at it. I am writing this now, instead of giving it another go! (ha, how ironic I can procrastinate in this way!) But I know deep in my heart that I must get it done. For myself more than anything, as I promised myself I would do this, to help me to get to the next thing I want to do and that is to travel, leard and teach.

Ok, so this is my first blog.... lets give it a week and see how much more I have done. I expect that I will need an extension but Hey I have till the end of the year before I need to be where I want to be.

Good luck Max, you can do this!