When you first touch down in China your brain will do one of two things…. It’ll go ‘ooohhh, shiny, noisy, crazy!’, or it’ll go ‘arrrrgggh, shiny, noisy, crazy!’ Either way, it’ll be something of a shock. While you’re finding your feet, you’ll probably feel foreign, lost and a tad overwhelmed. So, to help you in those first few mental weeks, here’s what you need to pack in your China survival kit:
China: It’s busy, it’s shiny, it’s crazy (Photo: Conbon33)
1) Toilet roll
OK, let’s start with the little things that make a big difference. Chinese toilets in almost all public places (including bards and restaurants) do not stock toilet roll – everyone carries their own. Note to overzealous packers – China, as a nation, stocks toilet roll – this is not something you need to find room for in your suitcase! Oh, and rest assured that you will find western toilets if you’re squeamish!
2) Patience
The wheels of Chinese bureaucracy move very slowly, except for when plans are being changed, at which point they seem to move very quickly indeed! As such, just go with the flow – plans will change, you will get frustrated, but take a deep breath and remember that it will all get sorted in the end.
A teapot watering flowers? Seems strange but you will see far odder things in China (Photo: Sophie Roberts)
3) One piece of paper
With the name of your hotel or address written on it in Chinese characters (you can get someone at the hotel to copy it out for you). Keep it tucked in your wallet and you’ll always be safe in the knowledge that even after a night out on the pijiu*, you can always get a taxi back safe and sound.
4) A thick skin
No, you don’t have something stuck in your teeth – those people are staring at you because you’re an exotic rarity. Staring isn’t seen as rude like it is here in the West and it’s certainly not meant maliciously. So you just have to grow a bit of thick skin and let it wash over you and hey, you might even become something of a local celebrity!
5) Mad chopstick skills
Observe the mad chopstick skills right here! (Photo: Sophie Roberts)
Many restaurants won’t actually have forks in stock, so it’s worth having a quick practice with some chopsticks before jetting off to China. But don’t worry – if all else fails, all Chinese restaurants have rice spoons that you can use.
6) A willingness to haggle
Haggling isn’t an optional thing you only do in dodgy markets in China – barring supermarkets and restaurants, it’s done pretty much everywhere! So, get ruthless – the price will have been upped big-time to take the fact that you’re a foreigner into account. Because Chinese pronunciation is about as easy as doing complex quadratic equations with a hangover, you might want to learn the hand signals for numbers, or go shopping with a pad of paper to ease the haggling process.
7) Unflapability
You’ll experience things in China that feel a little wrong at first: total strangers coming up to you in the street to ask if they can practice their English with you, waiters presenting you with a still flapping fish that you’ll be eating in 15 minutes, a lack of ‘excuse me’s’, guys spitting in the street… you’re not going to change China, so just go with the flow and remember that it’ll make an awesome story for your grandkids!
*Chinese for beer
So, what do you think? What have you got backed in your China survival kit?
Loading recent content...
What do you think?
Add Your Comment!
Log in to leave a comment or Create an account
Good advice starsforsam! Do you mean he ordered lots of stuff and then expected you to pay for him? I would be tempted to just say from the beginning that I only had money one cup of tea! Or if they bring out lots of food, I'd eat the whole lot - that would get them hehe!
You just reminded me that I almost got scammed in China too! A friend and I got talked into going on a rickshaw tour, but we agreed and got him to write down the price first. At the end of the tour he asked for more money and said we went on a longer tour of another part of the village. Being stubborn and angry at his attempt to scam us, we refused to pay more than we said and ran to the nearest taxi!
One good thing about experiences like this is that they toughen you up and make you more streetwise!
I had no problem with the total strangers wanting to take my picture or take pictures with me, but the "students" pretending to want to practice their english, and suggesting to stop for a coffee or beer is still bugging me! I knew this is a way they scam foreigners out of money, but I still managed to fall for it. I had to been walking and talking with this one fellow how spoke VERY GOOD english. I had been wandering around Beijing alone for the whole day, so it was nice to speak in my native tongue. I refused to stop for coffee at first, and when he kept walking with me, I convinced myself I had tagged him incorrectly as a scammer. I said we could stop for a beer, then he ordered himself tea, even though I had said no to tea, and when they poured two pots and brought out plates of treats then I knew that my first instinct had been correct. The bill came to 460 yuan for two beers, two green teas, tea service, and snacks. My "friend" asked to split the bill. I only had 200 yuan so he let me put in only that, but I was still very upset. Right after we left the tea shop, he promptly had to go meet his friends.
All in all, I learned a valuable lesson. There are people in Beijing who legitimately want to practice their English and want to help westerners, but there are also people who want your money. The two ways to tell are 1) How good their English is and 2) If they suggest you stop for coffee, beer, or tea within 1 minute of talking. Avoid the men and women in their twenties who speak perfect English. You can still be nice, but very firmly say you don't want anything to drink or eat. Most of them will promptly walk away after that.
I'm HOPELESS with chop sticks!! I think that's the one thing I will definitely have to practice before I go to Asia!
After almost two years in Japan I don't mind squat toilets!
I found chopsticks were the best way to eat noodles (and still do!)....but I remember my first night in Japan trying to eat a salad with chopsticks....que lots of giggling (and also a slight hope that I would perhaps lose weight from my slow progress!). Once you get the hang of chopsticks it's a great skill to have - my advice is get the locals to show you how to hold them...a great conversation starter :-)
I remember when I had a japanese couple sit next to me in a restaurant once and told me and my japanese friend that I was the only westerner they had seen who could properly use chopsticks - they were amazed! (and my friend was very proud as she had taught me!). So my task to all foreigners living in asia - surprise those natives with your chopstick skills!!!
When I arrived in Beijing, I went into the toilets at the airport. There were about 15 stalls - the one I chose to go into was NOT a western toilet. I was really surprised as the international airport in Beijing is super modern... with my luggage and jeans... I decided to go for it.
The second I walked out, I realised that ALL the other stalls were good old western toilets. The funny thing is the same exact thing happened to me a few days later at a restaurant. There were two stalls and I of course went into the squata-loo one!
My advice is to check all the stalls!
» Comments RSS