Too timid to jack your job in? Does the thought of resigning fill you with fear and a sense of finality!? Yes? Well Follow our top tips and go out in style. Say hello to your P45 and seeing the world with TEFL and goodbye to meetings, the morning commute and the corporate machine! Mwa ha ha!
Well if they let you go what’s stopping you?….No need to thank us!
1. Order stationary supplies- and lots of them. Specialist mouse mats, an array of biros and highlighters- go mad! Who knew you needed so many staplers, notepads and a leather bound personalized organiser. Want a reclining chair for your desk? Go on- you deserve it! Who cares about the bill? You’re making your office a more efficient place, they should be thanking you.
2. Have access to a tannoy system? Use it- and regularly! Customers need to know what you had for breakfast, that your requested holidays were denied, that you preferred the lady’s hair in isle 2 before she had it cut. Chatting is all part of the job after all…So those pastries on special offer were dropped on the floor?-You owe it to the public!
3.Take tea breaks every 15 minutes. So what if you have deadlines to meet. You will not be rushed and there’s nothing like a cup of cha to keep you hydrated. You’ll be out of that door quicker than you can say Pass the Digestives.
4. Take regular naps. At your desk, in the staff room- seize every opportunity. Meetings are the perfect time to catch some zzzzzz’s. You’ll need all the energy you can get to beat that jet lag. Don’t forget your pillow!
5. Pretend you don’t speak English. Answer colleagues and customers in broken English or pretend you don’t understand- utterly bonkers but totally effective!
6. Wear inappropriate clothes. Why not have your own fancy dress days. Think tu tus, wigs and sequins- your individuality will not be squashed!
7.Spike your water machine with vodka. It’s sure to liven things up a bit!
8. Pretend you’re not at work…it’s easy “Sorry I don’t work here, you’ll have to ask at the reception desk.” Practice makes perfect. So what if you’re wearing a name badge!
9. Persistently send spam emails to colleagues. Think chain mail, rude jokes, videos of pets doing the funniest things!
10. If all else fails- say it with cake!