Ask any well travelled TEFL person about making friends abroad and they will invariably tell you that it varies in easiness from country to country. In some countries, you will have invites coming out of your ears…and in others you will have to be more pro-active. Here are some top tips:
- Hint Tell your students you don’t know about their local cuisine or what to do in the area – watch the invites come flooding in!
- Get yourself out there Go to local events - concerts, festivals etc are great places to meet new people.
- Find your ‘local’ The more you go to one place the more the locals will start to chat to you and you’ll soon become part of the fixtures and fittings.
- Never say no to invites Back home you may have been brought up to ‘not talk to strangers’, but when you go abroad everyone is a stranger – so how can you make new friends? Follow your instincts and be careful – meet new friends in public places and with colleagues if you can. Be sensible - obviously don’t go to someone’s house you’ve just met without other people you know and trust going with you!
- Join groups Joining a gym, a language class or even volunteering is a great way to make new friends.
- Invite people to things Don’t be shy - invite your colleagues and friends to do things together they will no doubt return the favour.
- Check out the local house parties! A great way to meet locals and other expats (not just teachers). Some countries have them in abundance, others don’t. These usually are advertised through word of mouth or you can check out Facebook pages and Google “expats in *country*.”
- Smile A smile really does go a long way! Make yourself approachable and chat to people – shop keepers, bar staff, anyone
- Do a language exchange Learn the local language and get a friend thrown in to boot (and you may then meet their friends and their friend’s friends)
- Check out the expat pamphlets Yes some countries do have them!
- Make use of online forums Whilst it may be a taboo in your country, many countries view this as the best way to make new friends and it’s seen as neither strange nor unusual.
- Be open to difference Try not to criticise the ways of the country you are in – this won’t endear you to potential friends and may make them hesitant to continue the friendship. Remember: It’s not wrong, it’s just different!
If you want to make friends with the locals:
- Don’t spend ALL of your time with fellow foreigners It’s tempting, but this will limit your opportunities to meet local people and it will make you less likely to make an effort to do so.
- Don’t go to western places ALL the time if no locals go there when in Rome do what the Romans do!
What do you guys think? What are your top tips for making friends while abroad?
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I normally end up in a McDonalds at least once and it's normally when very hung over. I have yet to be in a country without seeing a McDonalds but I never saw a Starbucks in Serbia but I guess there would be a couple in Belgrade.
I'm in Belgrade now and have been for over 6 months... no Starbucks. THey have Costa Coffee here. But they still aren't extremely popular since they are over priced considering ALL of the cafes and coffees bars they have here. They prefer the domestic side of things.
Great advice Emma!!!
I have no idea, It turns out I won a cheeseburger and a Tehbotol (Jasmine Green Tea). Pretty weird, they confirmed my order then said you have won those things. I was just OK, no questions! haha
Oh my god - I miss that! In Egypt it was the same! (gets a bit embarrassing when they know your voice when you phone up hey?!! Wow - how did you win a cheese burger?
Just read down through the posts, seems to be a Maccy D's theme going on! Well, I just ordered a McD's....Yes they deliver here in Indonesia 24/7 can't beat that when you're hungry late at night or early in the morning (3:30am here atm). It also appears on the phone I won a cheeseburger! gotta rush, I think I can hear the delivery bike approaching!
Love it! Of course you did miss out one vital place to meet other TEFLers abroad. Here on Chalkboard, I've already hooked up with one other chalkboarder who came to Indonesia and I'm planning to meet another in the next week or so!
But in you're advice the number one for Indonesia is telling students you don't know what to eat, Older students will almost always invite you out after class (especially if its the last class of the day) to eat at the local eatery! This is the best way to meet new friends and try new and amazing foods!
In Ecuador I've found that people are really big on family, so it's been easy for me there so far. If I go back now, though, I'll be miles from them, so my Spanish learning curve will just have to get a bit steeper! I keep having to remind myself that Ecuador is not Andalucia, where I leaned Spanish, so I have to try to pronounce 's' and turn 'll' into a soft 'j'. Otherwise nobody understands a word I say!
Hey Emma, I wasn't trying to disagree with you! Just adding my experience. I've found Brits are useful for anything from buying your car so you can fly home from Europe, to comforting you when your dad's on his last legs. But if you don't make friends with some locals then you haven't experienced a country properly in my opinion.
Alix - I've always taken comfort from having fellow Brits/English speakers around me .... I'm trying to say that if you want to make local friends then make time to do it. It can take more effort in some countries than others, but it's do-able.
Katie, I completely agree...learning at least a few phrases should be on my list too..how could I have missed that? We need to get away from the stereotype of English speakers being lazy language learners!
I agree with Emma that the big things are SMILE, be approachable and chat to everyone. Having long blonde hair and travelling through Asia extensively i have got used to people stopping me to ask to touch my hair to see if its real.... sure is a great icebreaker to get chatting!!!!! i also find that walking the same route each day for a while a good opportunity to get talking....ppl start to get used to you and suddenly you find yourself getting a friendly hello each morning.
I always try and learn a few key phrases in the local language which seems too be appreciated - even when I completely butcher the pronunciation!!!! In Vietnam I had some of the locals in fits of laughter as
I tried to master the different pronunciations particularly as (like chinese) the emphasis can totally change the meaning of a word!!!!!
Please don't get me wrong, I like to explore everywhere, and the worst things in the world for me are Muckdonalds and chips! I just mean that it doesn't do to get sniffy about other Brits, you might need them one day! When I'm in Spain I despair that all my Brit mates just hang out together and don't mix socially with Spanish people, who are lovely and warm and have great food. In Northern Europe I usually seek out the immigrant areas where they have really good food for cheap. A lot of people are so surprised to find Brits talking to them that they warm to you immediately!
The film was so so, it was a bit too extreme. The Book was much better as it was his day to day life. Very funny and would recommend it (it's my feel good book I always travel with).
Ohh I think I saw the film adaptation of that book Leon! The one with Jim Carey right? I keep meaning to have a 'yes' year!
I normally end up in a McDonalds at least once and it's normally when very hung over. I have yet to be in a country without seeing a McDonalds but I never saw a Starbucks in Serbia but I guess there would be a couple in Belgrade.
As for tips for meeting people I can only really repeat what I put in the other post... For meeting other travellers check out any local youth hostels, if your not staying in one it doesn't matter just go and look at the notice boards. There are always other backpackers doing things and looking to meet up. Also lots of hostels put on actibvities such as tours, pub crawls, days out which normally are extremely cheap & they don't mind who joins in (or say your friend staying and is going on it if they look bothered).
For meeting locals it's a bit harder as most already have their groups (imagine most peoples reactions if you were in your local back home with mates and some random person comes over and starts chatting) but its definatly doable. If your working thats the best way, as Emma said ask your fellow workers to recommend things (food, drink, shopping) and normally they will jump at the chance to show you. Meet their friends and get in that way.
Completely agree on the following: SMILE! and NEVER EVER turn down an invite! Go read Yes Man! by Danny Wallace and that will have you accepting everything ;)
P.S Nobody can keep me away from a McDonald's for long...what IS it in their burgers that makes you crave them? P.P.S Has anyone every been to a country that DOES NOT have a McDonald's or for that matter a Starbucks??? I might create a group on this one!!! :-)
Haha - Alix I totally agree...I've just edited my list as I realised I had two themes going on. I was referring to my experience in Egypt where a lot of my fellow colleagues insisted on going to western places that served alcohol....and obviously as drinking in Egypt is seen as haram (sinful) this meant these places were full of mostly foreigners...which to me totally defeats the purpose of living abroad! I found I met more Egyptians from going to cafes and having a shisha!! :-) But of course - each to their own! Also when I was in Japan I worked with a lot of different nationalities (all foreign) and everyone had so much fun together most people forgot to make Japanese friends! All very well and good - but what a pity to be in a country and not fully experience the culture :-(
I'd say that's pretty good advice, but sometimes it an be worth seeking out a western bar or restaurant, if like poor David, you need someone to talk to and you can't speak the local language yet.. When travelling is stressful, as it often can be, I find it helps you relax just to have a proper conversation. I shouldn't think there are too many westerners in KFC that often, but there's almost always a place where they do go, the ex-pat community, and even if you don't hang out with them it can help to know where they are. Some of them might even be teachers ;)
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