TEFL courses are a great ‘nest’ for you to grow in, but as with anything it’s when you build up the guts to get the heck out of the nest when you will truly start learning! But the question is, will you fly in the classroom or will you die an awkward death to the delight of your students? Here are a few tips to trick death and at least make it to land with only a few cuts and grazes….
Look interested
…when you’re not! Listening to ‘I like apples…Do you like apples?’ for the hundredth time is going to get pretty mundane! A big smile goes far…oh yes folks – pack the anti-wrinkle cream!
Make your classes interesting
..even if you aren’t! You never know you might just pull the wool over their eyes and they will think you are THE COOLEST person in the world!
Practise your jokes
Keep your students in stitches with your hilaaarious jokes...
Your students will love you more for this than your grammar knowledge! Also a jokey personality comes in handy when your phone rings, just after you’ve told your students off for not turning theirs off! Suggested dodge: “Whose is that phone?? Is that yours XXXX? You think it’s my phone? No way!” (all whilst looking at the ceiling and scratching your head).
Act like a teacher
…even if you still feel like a student. Your students needn’t know you and the rest of the teaching staff throw paper aeroplanes at each other in break time and run in late to class due to falling asleep in the staff room (from partying too hard the night before).
Build up lots of ‘question dodging’ responses
When students ask a difficult question (that god forbid you might not know the answer to) consider saying:
· That’s a very good question, who knows the answer?
· Great question – find the answer for homework…the winner gets a point for their team! (haha try asking me difficult questions again! You’ll get more homework!)
· …or my personal favourite: That’s a good question, but we don’t have time to cover this now – don’t worry we will look at it in another lesson.
Hone your acting skills
Learn how to pretend you’re angry that your students didn’t do the written work you set for homework when all you can think is ‘yesssss – one less badass to mark…more time for beer!’
Have an answer for everything
…and I don’t mean grammar! Students, especially children, often take enjoyment out of testing their teacher and love it when you make mistakes! So you always need to be one step ahead. When students notice the spelling mistake you made in your hungover haze and yell “Hey teacher, you spelt that wrong” how do you reply? Suggestions include:
“What’s that out of the window?” (when they look quickly change the spelling and smile sweetly). Or…
“Well done. I was testing you” .
And if you find you have some cheeky students who ask questions you don’t want to answer such as ‘Hey Miss/Mr, are you married?’ suggested responses are:
“I’ll tell you the answer if you can spell Antidisestablishmentarianism” Or…
“Are you sure you asked that? I was just about to give you no homework!”
How about you? What survival skills do you swear by?
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Haha a very nice read and handy tips! Great one!
LOL brilliant! Having a great sense of humour is must to get through life!
Very amusing blog thankyou. It is fair to say that the message within your lighthearted blog was lost on some people...
Just finished my TEFL Course.......cant't wait to get going ......Fantastic literary comments :-) X
Hi Emma,
Im just in the middle of my TEFL course and was getting a bit bogged down but just came across your blog and loved it. Very funny and useful. I feel better knowing that I don't have to be perfect and that if i get stuck in the classroom there are funny ways out of the situation.
Thanks
Madlee, this is a tongue in cheek blog - I'm sorry if you have taken offense to it.
The underlying theme is be professional even if you aren't confident...and also have fun in the classroom with your students. I have lived in four different countries now and like it or not, teachers (and the locals) like to drink and have fun.
I however agree that it shouldn't be to the detriment of international relations (I have actually just come back from teaching in a muslim country where I pretty much detoxed from drink for 2 years!!). However, what you do outside of the class shouldn't come into the class.
In response to the 'question dodging' section - many new teachers are on chalkboard and I'm sure they think they have to answer every question that students pose. However as mentioned in the blog it is acceptable to say 'we don’t have time to cover this now – don’t worry we will look at it in another lesson' or ask them to find out for homework (when you will have also done your homework and can tell them if they are correct).
Anyway, apologies again if any offense was caused....
I take a different viewpoint to some of the comments.
This looks like the portfolio for a Club 18-30 holiday rep, not a teacher. I will be outspoken about this topic, as the actions of this kind of party teacher have serious negative implications for the students, who are paying a lot of money to be educated by us. As teachers we have a PROFESSIONAL responsibility toward our students. Not only that, we are the face of our country. What we do in other countries, leaves an impression on the locals as to what a population is like. There seems to be a clear distinction between teachers, and idiots using teaching as a mask so they can get paid to drink.
The strong emphasis on getting drunk or the aftereffects of, and not providing a quality service to our students is what's tarnishing the ELT industry.
The paragraphs:
'Act like a teacher' is irresponsible. Don't act like a teacher BE A TEACHER! If your not a teacher, get the hell out of the classroom and stop using students money to fund your booze cruise.
'Question dodging' is another example of a lame teacher. If you don't know, say so. Students will suss you out eventually. Student's DO know, when you really don't know. The worst thing to do is to make up an answer and hope your students, or by the tone of this post 'suckers' don't try to find out.
'Hone your acting skills'. What a pile of crap!
'Have and answer for everything'. Again referring to drinking. What the hell is this?
nice ha :) very useful
Am loving these "get out of sticky moment' ideas......Thanks Emma.
Hahha... these are great!!! :)
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