"Moto, moto!"

Another day off, another sight. This time I decided to try Ho Tay (West Lake), an area north of the Old Quarter. The area actually comprises two lakes, Ho Trúc Bach (White Silk Lake) and the much larger Ho Tay. Truth be told, the lakes did not live up to expectation. Murky green water filled with dead fish... For a mere 60,000d (about £2.18), we hired a swan-shaped pedalo and cruised around Ho Trúc Bach for an hour.

As the sun grew ever stronger we sought refuge in a small café where we treated ourselves to what were probably the most enormous portions of food known to man! Overfed, we rolled into the street seeking a couple of ‘xe ôms’ to take us home. When you don’t need one, they are everywhere; the more desperate will even chase you down the street shouting “moto, moto”. Needless to say when you actually want one, there are none to be found. Spotting one ‘xe ôm’ among the hopeful cyclo drivers, we approached. Before long we were surrounded by hungry cyclos (think vultures circling a wounded animal and you get the picture!) all trying to lure us to their particular chariot. In the end it wasn’t the harassment that got to us (we’re used to that) so much as the blatant attempt to rip us off – 40,000d (double what any fare from one end of the city to the other should be, and far, far more than any local would pay). We made a hasty exit. We were then faced with two problems: how to cross the bloody road (it only took us 15 minutes) and how to get home.

Spotting two  ‘xe ôms’ further up the street, we opted to try our hand there, only to find that despite our willingness to pay over the odds (25,000d), one driver was not interested. Just as we started walking away, the problem was apparently solved by the driver who wanted the business hailing a random motorbike rider from the street (the surprise on his face was enough to convince me that he wasn’t even a ‘xe ôm’) and persuading him to take M (my friend). Earlier this year it became illegal to ride a motorbike, whether as the driver or passenger, without a helmet (unless you’re a child under the age of 6 but that’s another story!) so all ‘xe ôms’ have to carry a second helmet by law. The helmets on the whole are far too big, the straps can’t be adjusted and on this occasion, my army-green helmet looked like a left-over from the Vietnam War! This gave M such a fit of giggles that she nearly fell off her bike. Her laughter was cut short when we were treated to the most terrifying motorbike ride we have ever been on. Her driver routinely ignored red lights and simply shot through crossroads, seemingly blind to the oncoming 4x4s. Mine weaved in and out of traffic, passing stranded pedestrians with only half a foot’s grace! I have no wish to re-live the rest of the journey suffice to say somehow we got to 116A Phô Huê in one piece. We were literally shaking as we got off – the relief was immense!