Written on 19th Nov 2010, taken from my blog: http://www.getjealous.com/getjealous.php?action=showdiaryentry&diary_id=1856069&go=bridgetkramer
So, because it was like $500 cheaper, and because I had the time, I decided to get a 3-day bus from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Lima, Peru. I scribbled down some things as it went along. You might be able to glimpse a little bit of insanity developing...
16/11/10
06:00PM
Departing Retiro bus terminal, and two women and an elderly man have said a prayer to (for?) the whole bus, praying that the bus driver gets us to our destination safely. This instils MUCH confidence in me.. Didn't realise this was a prayer-worthy bus trip. Stay tuned for weary traveller rambles, but for now I'll enjoy the novelty of being on a bus.
17/11/10
02.30PM
Just worked my way through the Chilean border-crossing, took about an hour and a half, but in the context of a 3 day bus trip, that's a blink of an eye. They took my fruit! I purposefully stocked up on apples, sultanas & other dried things to sustain me for 3 days. The man sitting in front of me couldn't believe it, but said it was because Chileans are "los pobres de sudamerica" (the poor people of South America).
The bus trip has been surprisingly bearable. I'm semi-cama, so my seat reclines pretty far, and there's no one sitting next to me, so I have 2 seats to work with when it comes to sleeping. Have mastered many different successful sleeping positions. The scenery today since leaving Mendoza has been stunning. Such contrasts between red earth and jagged snow-capped mountains. Yes, snow! Hadn't planned on seeing any, so it's a nice surprise. The elderly man (who prayed at the beginning) is sitting across from me and is lovely. Despite not knowing everything he said when we were chatting, I did learn that buying a drink at a bus terminal is more expensive than in a normal place. Fact. We even had music on before, including three different remixes of 'We No Speako Americano'. I think that's the only song that exists here.
Just looked out the window and am doubting those claims of San Francisco's Lombard Street being the windiest in the world... And trying to pass trucks on these corners isn't instilling me with much confidence, nor is the woman behind continually exclaiming, "Ay! Dios!". Maybe this is why they prayed at the start...
OK, these plummeting drops right next to the roads are freaking me out just a little bit, even if they've put the music back on and it's Shakira singing in her native tongue. 'Waka waka' doesn't mean anything in Spanish either. WE ARE HIGH. The altitude even stopped Shakira. For other Latin pop. Wish I knew them so I could sing along like the lady behind me.
There's horsies on the mountains! And the road too... and a donkey!
4.32PM
Just had a stop at a roadside restaurant.. Kinda wish I'd bought some Chilean pesos.. Tested my Spanish with a friendly Peruvian woman who seemed impressed at my solo travelling. Then she gave me some Peruvian coins to use to call someone when I arrive. Meeting-a-friendly-local-and-conversing-with-them-in-their-mother-tongue success! She was one of the praying women at the start of the trip. Also, I'm the only white person on this bus. Just a (obvious) observation.
Suspended train tracks where their bridge has eroded underneath them!
Ha, when we stopped, this guy who describes himself as "amigo de los chauffeurs" asked why I wasn't eating. I said it was because I didn't have any Chilean pesos & wasn't hungry, plus I have stuff on the bus. Just now he was counting to ensure everyone was on, and asked if I wanted to go and buy fruit from the fruit stall. Am I known as the fruit girl, since the incident at the border? He asked me in English if I had eaten, I said yes (I'd just eaten an Alfajor), he looked at me suspiciously and said, "No, no creo..." (No, I don't think so..)
6.35PM
Just drove past MY Pacific Ocean, oh how I've missed it. It really is a wonderful ocean. Road not windy, have driven past vineyards and forrests, and now past beaches. All in one day.
6.36PM
Find out what a 'Ferreteria' is, and if it has anything to do with Ferrets.
7.02PM
I feel like I should be shocked at the amount of roadside memorials. What does that say about Australian drivers?
LIST OF FOODS I BROUGHT WITH ME
* 4 red apples (taken at customs)
* 4 carrots (" ")
* dried banana (" ")
* sultanas (" ")
* 3 juice poppers - strawberry & kiwi, pear, orange
* huge packet of some pizza flavoured cracker things
* 12 alfaWHORES (alfajores, but I like to say alfaWHORES)
* 6 chocolate cereal bars
* 6 fruity cereal bars
* packet of hard-boiled candy from the Coffs Candy Kitchen I forgot to give to Aubrey in California
Really wish I had those apples, or at least to have taken the chance to say as I was handing them over to the customs official, "How do you like them apples?", whether or not the reference was understood.
18/11/10
9.15AM
Just woke up and I'm in the middle of some desert. This calls for the 'Priscilla' soundtrack.
9.24AM
The nice Peruvian lady just gave us all Bible passages, and apologised for not having any in my language, German. I think when I said I was from Australia, she heard Austria. This passage goes well with the Village People. I think I might just pretend to be Austrian. It can't be helping that I've got my Nazi-child hair in braids.
The old man just gave me 2 new passages because "son diferentes". Bless him. Then immediately after, the Peruvian lady brought over a huge book - "Paises Del Mundo", opened on the Austria page and pointed to the official language being German. I again said "A-u-stra-li-a" as slowly as I could, sounding it out Spanishly (yes, that's an adverb) and I think she got it. I found the Australia page for her and it clicked. Bless her. Time for my breakfast of snack foods and a wet-nap shower.
11.24AM
Nothing beats surprise jamon & queso sandwiches and pepsi, especially when my ticket specified "sin servicio". They keep giving us alfojores too. I like it.
Offline FB status update: Bridget is watching Benjamin Button in Spanish while cruising the Atacama desert.
Am loving the endless bus wide debates over whether to have 'MUSICAAAAAAAA' or a 'PELICULAAAAAAAA'. Seems the guy just does the opposite of what the majority wants.
As one of the crew members was handing out immigration cards, he said "gringa" as he gave me mine (as it's different from all the peruanos on board). Then he was talking to a few people behind me and said loudly "La gringa no entiende nada!" (The gringa doesn't understand anything!)... Not sure if he meant it in jest, or if he really thought I wouldn't understand him... Either way, I laughed and the others laughed too. I'll tell myself it was with, not at, me.
He must've felt bad because he asked me if I wanted English subtitles for the Wayans Bros movie he's just put on. I politely declined. I don't think understanding the words is vital for their films. Did I just call it a film?
1.01PM
I should have brought vodka.
1.21PM
Something's not right. I haven't heard 'We No Speako Americano' today.
TREES!
Now I'm watching some kind of sketch show. I'm glad 50 year old men in drag is universally funny.
It's 32 degrees outside. Peeps are starting to smell.
Offline FB Update: Bridget doesn't know whether to first shower or have beers upon her arrival in Lima.
Everyone wants MUSICAAAAA but they keep putting on DVDs that seem to break someway in.
Musica we have, and it's A-Ha's "Take on Me". Bridget highly approves. Did they put it on just for la gringa?
Ooh dust storms.
It smells like sweat.
I've been sleeping surprisingly well. Having odd dreams but that's nothing unusual. Am surprised I haven't gone crazy. I always knew I was really talented at doing nothing. Am digging this 80s mix. Nothing beats cruising in the desert listening to Rick Astley.
I want to say this bus trip reminds me of ski trips, but then I realise I've never actually been on a ski trip, and I'm basing this invented memory entirely on other people's accounts of ski trips.
1.47PM
I forgot to write about the man at the Chile/Argentina border who had the most glorious neck beard I've ever seen. It wasn't like most neck beards I've seen (usually sported by young men who are incapable of growing actual beards on their faces). This was more of a lion's mane. The man was in his 60s I'd say, and had grown this ring of grey fur circling his throat at about the level of his Adam's Apple. The hair was long enough to have a little curl at the end. It was glorious.
Fuck it's hot. Can't roll my trackie pants up any further.. If I knew how to say "does anyone mind if I get naked?" in Spanish, I would. If I just went ahead at did it, it might be weird.
2.16PM
34 degrees. We just had a cool off stop. I stayed on the bus, my logic being that it's just as hot out, and there's dust out there. The guy in front of me (who informed me about Chileans being cheap) brought me a cup of water. These people are all really nice to me. Just noticed they were getting the water from a tap outside. Fingers crossed it doesn't give me diarrhoea.
The old man brought in a 4L bottle of water, plonked it down next to me and said, "Tienes agua!". Everyone is caring for my agua needs. Seems everyone took the opportunity to douse themselves with water, so I'm with a busload of wet Peruvians. My dream.
3.01PM
You could dump a dead body out here and no one would ever find it.
4.32PM
It's still FREAKING HOT. But I think I'm coping better than others on the bus.
I want to sit on the top of the bus wearing a silver gown, sitting in a giant stiletto, lip synching to Verdi, like Guy Pearce did.
5.08PM
I just took pictures of myself with a muppet. Maybe I am losing it. But really, when did I ever have it?
5.18PM
Offline FB update: Bridget wishes someone would just smile and give her a vegemite sandwich.
Also, I really like the Chile stamp in my passport.
Woah we're half way there, woah living on a prayer!
6.00PM
Today I learnt that passport and immigration papers make wonderful fans.
Have been on the road for exactly 42 hours. Does it show?
5.23PM
I'VE GONE BACK IN TIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!! Or rather, Peru time is 2 hours behind that of Chile & Argentina. Disappointed in the Peru stamp Not sufficient inkage. What's the point of getting stamped if I can't show off all the exotic places I've been because no one can see the stamps? Governments should put more money into ensuring the ink levels are maintained at immigration points. And maybe putting more than one lady on duty when a busload of people needs to get stamped. But ink first, please.
Customs was great. Put your bags on a conveyor belt no one is monitoring and collect them after. No sniffer dogs either. So Peru.
Oh yeah... I'M IN PERU!!!
And we just picked up a hawker, walking down the aisle trying to sell us all a video camera for $75US. I wonder if he's coming to Lima with us? Or if we'll dump him in the middle of the desert? Ooh he's joined by a woman hawking jackets. This must be the equivalent of inflight duty-free magazines. I'm really curious as to how far we're taking these people from where we got them.
SIDE NOTE -> The denim on denim look is huge in South America.
She has children's clothes too! Ooh I could buy a Nokia from the dude. Or a bib that says "happy baby". The lady has Hilary Duff on her shirt. Would it be rude to ask for her shirt? It's really classy.
I wonder if any major world event has happened since we got on the bus? Would they tell us? Would they know?
I am such a good food rationer!
There's another lady and she's selling athletic shoes. A passenger is arguing with her over whether the shoes are "para hombres o mujeres". Shit's getting loco! Shoes, jackets, kids clothes EVERYWHERE! and big arguments over los precios. I don't think anyone's buying the shoes. I think the jacket lady had some success.
OH, I forgot to thank Chile for letting me pass through. Cheers Chile for letting me travel through you, and I hope you enjoyed my offering of apples, carrots, sultanas and dried banana.
I think this is an alfajor moment. *Remember 'Jorgitos' for alfajores
6.59PM
We let them off in the town of Tacna, where we stopped for dinner. I asked the guy (the one who didn't believe me when I said I'd eaten) where I could find an ATM, he took me to one and then he ate dinner with me - the dinner being a mysterious meat & french fries stew with rice, and he bought some Inca Kola for us to share. Cheers Jose! He then took me for a walk around the town of Tacna, and yes, there was a moment where I thought I'd end up in Tacna forever, but at the very least it would have given me a real life opportunity to say "No way, Jose!". But we made it back to the bus, Jose followed me to my seat, and took the seat next to me where we continued the awkward stilted Spanish conversation from dinner. People have a hard time believing I don't know anyone in Peru. He asked me "Pelicula?", I said si, mostly so he would get up and I could write about him. I'm nice like that. But mostly because I want to settle in for the night. NOCHES!
...
I wasn't in the clear.. After Jose put the movie on he retook the seat, and after realising he hadn't pressed play, was jeered at by the male passengers, "Ahh! Nervioso?!" and then everyone looked at me. Bridget enjoys being the butt of a joke. I pulled out the old sleep attack until Jose felt uncomfortable enough to leave. For those of you who don't know, a sleep attack is when you feign sleep in order to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Thank me later. Am writing this, then will actually go to sleep. This bra has gotten really uncomfortable over 3 days.
19/11/10
7.35AM
Last night wasn't good. I think it was a combination of having eaten a proper meal (my first in 3 days) and driving through some seriously windy roads really fast, my stomach just didn't know how to deal. And maybe french fries don't belong in stews. Didn't sleep much as a result, and woke up at 5 this morning with the need to vomit, spewed a little in my mouth, but with no vessel anywhere near me to release said spew into, I had to swallow it. Surprisingly, a few minutes later, I felt better.
Still in the desert, although some of it was beach/desert. What a perfect place for a beach! Just drove through Nazca... looks like a hole. Can't wait to spend a night here next week... Drove past a truck on fire with a bunch of guys beating down the flames with shovels. Approximately 6 hours until Lima, the driver announces. I have almost survived a 3 day bus trip!
8.37AM
Consistently surprised by how kind everyone is to me. We just stopped for brekkie and as I have food on me (going to say again - I am an awesome food rationer), I wasn't getting anything. But people kept asking if I was sure I didn't want anything, the lady who thought I was Austrian offered me shampoo for the showers (I opted for another wet-nap shower. They really are rather effective). And just now as we were getting on the bus, a fellow passenger insisted on giving me ice cream. Hope I don't have to do anything dirty in return. That's a high price, even for ice cream. I think they're all genuinely concerned for me being a solo, young, female, obviously-foreign traveller, it's sweet of them. Although it doesn't give me much confidence for Peru if even its inhabitants think it's dangerous.
Ooh, I think I just saw some Nazca lines on the side of some hills. Either that, or some really ancient-looking graffiti.
Oh, and if you've been wondering, they have been cleaning the onboard toilet. I've seen it. It happens.
I saw myself in a mirror for the first time since Buenos Aires. My hair is pretty.
9.07AM
The other praying woman from the start is toasting Inca Kola to everyone, and I got a special toast for being the only non-Peruvian/Argentinian. It's good to be special.
She's now singing the national anthem of Peru. Can you get drunk off Inca Kola?
9.14AM
Where are all the llamas?
9.25AM
It's really hot again. Still no llamas.
9.30AM
As Jordin Sparks would say, there is "no air" on this bus. Is lack of oxygen a sufficient reason for breaking the emergency window?
If I was a geologist I'd be appreciating all these rocks a buttload more than I am.
9.40AM
Tell me how am I supposed to breathe with no air?
10.14AM
Sweat moustache. Sexy.
11.11AM
Have passed through Ica, so we should be getting back on the coast soon if my Lonely Planet map is to be trusted. iPod not dead yet. Not only am I an awesome food rationer but an awesome iPod battery preserver also. I was built for 3 day bus rides. Have mastered the wet-nap shower.
11.54AM
Offline FB update: Bridget is still on a bus.
1.09PM
Just had a petrol stop, got off the bus for some air and ended up sharing some AMAZING local wine with some Peruvians from the bus. It pays to be a novelty.
Also, would it shock you to learn that this isn't the longest I've gone without a shower?
.........................................
And that is all I wrote on the bus. I napped after the petrol/wine stop, woke up to the old man thanking God we survived, got off the bus, straight into a taxi to my hostel. Straight into the shower. Now this. And now, beers.
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