8 Reasons for Why I Don't Need to Hike the Inca Trail

Written on 12th Nov 2010, taken from my blog: http://www.getjealous.com/getjealous.php?action=showdiaryentry&diary_id=1854177&go=bridgetkramer

Being in my 20s and in South America, I feel like it's my duty to hike the infamous Inca Trail. But why? Because there's a section in my Lonely Planet guide dedicated to it that's longer than the sections about most townships? Because it'll make me look worldly and experienced? My next destination is Peru, and I will be staying in Cuzco, and I do want to see Machu Picchu. But I'm not hiking the trail, and here's some reasons why.. 

1. I hate exercise. Always have. I've never understood the whole "endorphins" thing. Chocolate can do that, far easier and with less sweat produced. So given this natural born hatred for physical exertion, why would I subject myself to four days of vertical walking? And not only that, but pay for it too? It just doesn't make any sense. 

2. I will get sick. It's fair to assume from reason 1 that I'm not the fittest person. Imagine the first week of 'The Biggest Loser', when the contestants have to run on treadmills until they can see their feet, and they pass out. That would be me. Combine that with ridiculous altitude and food that can only be excreted in liquid form.. Why subject myself to a myriad of traveller's diseases on purpose? 

3. When exhausted, sick, hungry and/or exercising, I'm not a good person. These are all things that bring out the worst in me, so if I were to come across a blind, orphaned, paraplegic ginger child, I would probably kick it off the mountain, unless it gave me some chocolate. I'm just looking out for the blind, orphaned, paraplegic ginger kids. Someone has to. 

4. I'd rather spend those extra days eating guinea pig at a slightly lower altitude. Where it's more likely there's a toilet (i.e. not a hole in the ground) in case I eat chicken and it turns fowl (ha, poultry pun) and I need to spend the night in the water closet. 

5. I don't feel the need to prove that I can. Probably because there's a high possibility that if I did it I'd fail (by means of death), and I don't like to try things I'll probably fail at. It's a good way to be. Especially when the consequence is potential death. I'm kind of a fan of living. 

6. Locals wouldn't do it. If the purpose behind someone's desire to walk vertically for 4 days is to get the "authentic Incan experience", you're an idiot. Why would anyone in their day to day life trek (vertically) to a pile of old rocks? Only travellers have the luxury of having 4 spare days to wander (vertically). You'll meet other tourists, and I'd much rather do that at a lower altitude, with the more-elevated toilets and the existence of bars. But hey, maybe that's just me. 

7. Any tourist would do it. It wouldn't make my South American holiday any more special to have ticked "Machu Picchu trek" off my list. In fact, I don't know anyone who has gone to Peru and not done it. This is an easy way to make me special. I just want to be special, dammit! 

8. There's a train. And it's functional. Why walk (vertically) for 4 days when you can go up and back in the comfort of a train in one day? Be logical, people. 

And this list was definitely not created because I never got my act together early enough to book a trek, consequently making me feel the need to justify why I won't be trekking. Most certainly not.

• Peru
• Machu Picchu
• Inca trail
• laziness
• altitude
• hiking
• exercise